I still don't believe I accomplished this. I blame this portfolio for my new 4 a.m. bedtime, a necessary habit that does not mesh well with my kids' circadian rhythms. Not a bit. Tonight will be my last 4 a.m.-er, I hope.
A good friend of mine had a piece accepted in the High Museum's new contemporary exhibit, Sprawl. In a room adjacent to the one we proudly stood in admiring her work tonight stood a fifteen-foot tall bowl made of a thousand triangular mirrors. If you stand dead-center in front of the bowl, you see yourself reflected a thousand times. It is disconcerting but also kind of cool. All I could think about standing there at the opening show tonight was this portfolio. It's a thousand pieces of me, a thousand hours of my life, that I wonder if anyone will ever stand in the right place to see.
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It was all the reflections. So. Many. Reflections. Sometimes, it would be 2ish, and I would think about how much I'd rather eat mirrored glass than reflect again. Still, I got it done, and I'm proud. My portfolio is not humdrum. I didn't just write a bunch of heartless nonsense to get a check mark put in a box somewhere. I couldn't let my portfolio be that, because I couldn't let my degree be that. I'm not here just for a grade; I want to see how far I can push myself and take that energy and knowledge back to my students' worlds and affect real change there. How could I promote their best and give less than mine?
Anyway, now that this class is over, I am sleepy. And proud. And grateful to Dr. Wright, who is a superhero at providing quick and detailed feedback despite the incredible number of reflections she had to grade. Her positivity and helpfulness got me through those mirror-chewing moments, and here we are. Done. Good night. Amen.